The Quality of Time Together > Planning the Time Together
The random, unplanned events of this weekend has me thinking about the difference between time spent and time felt.
We plan things. We coordinate calendars, confirm headcounts, pick restaurants. We do all the logistics of being together. And sometimes those carefully planned moments are exactly as good as we hoped they'd be.
But the ones I keep coming back to? The ones that actually fill my cup?
Those almost never made it onto the calendar.
High School Football Halftime — Madison, MI — October 9, 2026
The Dinner Nobody Planned
Nobody planned the dinner I had with my parents.
We went to my niece's high school football game to cheer her on during her halftime flag corps performance. That was it. That was the whole plan.
And then somehow, after the game, it was just the three of us — my mom, my dad, and me — sitting across from each other at dinner. No kids. No timeline. Just hungry stomachs.
I sat there and tried to remember the last time I'd had real 1:1 time with my parents. Not a holiday. Not a quick visit squeezed between a thousand other things. Just... time. The unhurried, unscheduled, nowhere-else-to-be kind.
I couldn't remember.
It was one of the best conversations I've had with them in a long time. And it wasn't on anybody's calendar.
Somewhere along the way, when we become the parents, the business owners, the ones holding everything together, time with our own parents quietly turns into something we fit in. That dinner reminded me it's something worth making room for.
Serena & Paisley — Tecumseh, MI — Summer 2026
The Festival, the Boys, and the Fitting Room
The Appleumpkin Festival was supposed to be a girls’ day — my daughter and me.
Then the boys decided to come.
Now, I love a full-family outing. But my daughter? She was not about to give up her girl time.
So we found a compromise. We spent the afternoon at the festival together as a family, and when we were done, we dropped the boys off at home. And then it was just the two of us.
She's at the age where she likes to clothes shop now. So we wandered into a few stores, started pulling things off racks, and somehow ended up in a fitting room together trying things on, giving each other opinions neither of us asked for but both of us wanted. And I realized — this is a phase I didn’t expect, and I am absolutely in love with it. It’s also making me realize just how close we are to having two females menstruating in the house at once and how “fun” it’s about to be when our similar demeanors start crashing against each other.
But in that moment, I drove home with a full heart.
She's growing up. I know that. But that afternoon, I got to see a little more of who she's becoming — and she chose to spend that time with me. I'll be holding onto that one for a while.
A Sunny Afternoon at The Stacy Mansion — Tecumseh, MI — Summer 2026
The Mansion Showed Me the Same Thing
This past weekend at The Stacy Mansion, I watched it happen there, too — just through other people's eyes this time.
A bridal party stayed with us Friday night. On Saturday, they all got ready together and left around 4 p.m. No hurry. No rush. No drama. Just a group of women sharing the getting-ready part of a big day — the part that so often gets rushed.
We also had a mother and her two daughters come in for the Appleumpkin Festival. A couple attending a different wedding. A woman visiting family friends.
All of them different. All of them doing the exact same thing.
Creating something they'll carry with them — not because of what was planned, but because of how present they were while it was happening.
That's what The Mansion was built to hold. Not just beautiful rooms. The conditions for moments like these.
What This Has to Do With Experience Design
Here's where I always end up bringing it back to design and how you can intentionally create better experiences in your work and life. Because it always connects.
Sometimes the most important experience we can design has nothing to do with a workflow or an itinerary.
It's a genuine, unhurried, 1:1 human conversation.
Taking the time to sit with someone — a customer, a colleague, your kid, your parent — and actually listen. Not to solve. Not to pitch. Not to close. Just to hear what they're carrying. To understand their day, their frustrations, what's making their job harder than it needs to be.
That kind of connection doesn't show up in a click rate. But it shows up in loyalty. In trust. In the kind of relationship that holds when things get complicated.
Presence is the design.
“It's not what you plan to do in the time you're together. It's how present you are when you're together.” — Serena Riley
The Thing I'm Taking Into This Week
Not every moment announces itself as significant while it's happening.
But the willingness to be in it — to put down the mental to-do list and just be where you are — that's what creates the quality. That's what fills the cup. That's what makes you look back later and think: that was one of the good ones.
So here's my invitation this week: protect one small window with one person. Put the phone away. Skip the agenda. It doesn't have to be long. It just has to be present.
It's not what you plan to do in the time you're together.
It's how present you are when you're together. 🦚
